Healing Thoughts Of God

On my drive home today, after a detour around traffic and a storm, this rainbow was a smile from God of peace and blessing that emphasized suffering is not the full way of God. Rather the way of God is life and peace amidst everything, through trust, faith, and unshakable affection in Him. In Him we have favor and are … [Continue reading]

Stories of Disconnection #3

Different hearts: One heart that believes and loves single-mindedly, and one heart that doubts itself and tries to love with a concern for self. Truth: Unbelief and lack of trust in self erodes the foundation of healthy love in a person’s heart.

Lack of freedom: Commitment without a basis for mutual consent, mutual self expression, and a lack of mutual understanding and accountability … [Continue reading]

God, Be Here

Sometimes I’m so frustrated with God and my broken communication patterns with Him that all I want is Him in a corporeal form so that I can actually speak to Him in physical interaction. I want to see God here in THIS world, in my physical circumstances (perhaps as a little floating ball of fire on my desk); I don’t want to have to hear my own voice … [Continue reading]

Letters: Surrender

From: Me
To: Myself (Journal)
Subject: Sickening Control

“Take 3-6 months and get healthy. Then when things cool off, see where we both are.” That was today. Looking back, I had been an unholy judge. In my immaturity and self-interest to create space until I was ready, I had put emotional poison into her … [Continue reading]

Not All Who Wander – The Journey

This is but a recap of my journey over the past year. This has culminated at the appointed time God has made, nearly a year to the day. I had deep truths to learn, internalize, and systematically apply. As presented below, the messages are disjointed. It is more a string of conclusions that … [Continue reading]

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

The phrase “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” has been casually adorned as a magnet on my fridge ever since college. Despite its ordinary place, it has always been a personal mantra of mine. The quote just seemed to fit, though I really had no other context of why a quote like this existed. I felt it described my inner life and the  [Continue reading]

Sassiness – A Missing Piece

How does one reclaim their sassiness? Is sassiness even the right word? Am I simply looking to be confident, secure, assured, and whole, from which I can enjoy a bit of humor and cheekiness? No matter, this is a power that has been long locked away in my being since childhood, largely from “showing off” my God-given talents and getting razed … [Continue reading]

2014 Venture Expeditions Midwest Tour Interview

And so it all starts with a question. Over the past week as I’ve talked with more people back home, my answers to, “How was your 500 mile bike ride?” have slowly transformed.

How as your trip? It was totally awesome. It was an amazing experience. The journey was worth it.

What was … [Continue reading]

Exposition – Five Years Later

Five years ago I wrote an introduction in attempt to start a blog – and to stifle the melancholy – of my life. In part, I was inspired as I replayed Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. The game’s imagery, sounds, and story of collecting small memories made me realize that I could not wield my … [Continue reading]

Letters: Unholy Judge

From: Me
To: Myself (Journal)
Subject: A Real Account of Things

Summary

They say she’s moved on, but has experienced great healing. Deep down, I know part of what she is healing from, because I wanted her to face her own demons in the void of uncertainty. I rejected her. Soundly. Nearly completely. She had reached out to … [Continue reading]